So itapos;s occurred to me that my depression is coming back, because Iapos;m not following Dr. Chunapos;s advice: When the antidepressants kick in, donapos;t just sit there, go do stuff or youapos;ll relapse.� That was May, now itapos;s October, and Iapos;m starting to feel the relapse coming like a freight train and all I can do is shoot rocks from a slingshot.
Well, itapos;s not all bad, and I feel like I have a few more tools to slow the train than I first thought. One, Iapos;m going to start writing in here more. Two, Iapos;m gonna take control of my thoughts and use the time I have with them well. Finally, Iapos;m going to meditate daily.
Truth is, between work and Alyssa, I really, really miss myself, and things going the way they are, Iapos;ll just feel worse and worse.
So let this be my first entry in my meditation journal. Beware though, this is only for me, and it might make sense to only me, but I might put some flair in it to help any readers out there aware of whatapos;s going on. I hope this is something I can look back on day after day and start off where I left off, sort of thing. I hope it helps. Maybe you guys will like it, we shall see.
//loadconstruct:mind (Me going to my happy place)
Terra (the woman who resides in my mind): Long time no see, Niko. (The wind dispersed by the trees is flowering her hair like itapos;s being played with by the most delicate of children.)
Niko (my consciousness, my soul): It has been, Terra.
Terra: What brings you here? I can tell that youapos;re not well, Niko.
Niko: Suffice it to say, Terra, that there are a lot of things happening outside my body that need addressing all the time, from the tiniest worries to the grand-daddies of all worries, like famine, genocide, and the like. My only defense is "weapos;re all in this together."
Terra: Well this is true, Niko, and I hope you believe it deeply. It is one of the most powerful defenses you can have against such worries. These worries exist as a result of your need to someday love everyone in the world and be benevolent to all men and women of the world, and if you became something of a Dalai Lama, something like this could come true.
Niko: Whoa, weapos;re a little off topic. Can we slow down a bit?
Terra: Sure.
Niko: Weapos;re all in this together can only go so far. Even if those whoapos;s hearts are filled with hate, when they hear it, they donapos;t feel that way at all. Terrorists could say something to the effect of "Did the Americans
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