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apos;come to bed.apos; she says.

Things arenapos;t the same, I wish they were. I go from one extreme to the other. Iapos;m weak, Iapos;m false, Iapos;m a fucking fraud. Does that make me just another human being ? or does it make me selfish, or a bad person ?

I wish that I understood why it is that I do the things that I do and why my actions cause their reactions, and why things turn out the way that they do. Does everything happen for a reason ? Am I meant to lose these people, or am I meant to keep trying, urging them to change. Well, for now I give up. They wont change, neither will I. I was once told that qualities in others that I tend to dislike, are qualities or somethings that i dislike in myself.

I hate this fucking world, and every lowlife in it. If only I were brave.

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